Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
All I want is dick and wine.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
