im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
