Buhtt sex?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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