If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Do you remember whose house we're in?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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