I have demons in me.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize