There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
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