I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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