this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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