Sponge bath it is.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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