she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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