Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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