If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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