Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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