therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
