there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
