Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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