You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
