I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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