Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
