Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
