marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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