And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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