News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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