I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
