I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
