Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
