What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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