I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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