Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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