I bet he comes in French.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I love you. Go after that dick
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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