I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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