So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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