Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(

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(330): View more from Ohio

Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin

Fav 1 2309 754
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(305): View more from Florida

I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x

Fav 110 1557 5014
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(646): View more from New York

I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me

Fav 20 4980 1232
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(510): View more from California

You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.

Fav 20 1493 7735
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(856): View more from New Jersey

There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.

Fav 46 6836 1705
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(219): View more from Indiana

This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup

Fav 14 1133 919
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(810): View more from Michigan

Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra

Fav 4 1018 710
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(503): View more from Oregon

I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.

Fav 0 74 17
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