spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
