It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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