Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
