I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
