I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
