She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
