They have a pepper shaker for pot.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
