I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
