Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
