Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
