Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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