Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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