i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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