If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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