there's paper in my vomit.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
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I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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