Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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