who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
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I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
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Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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