FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
