i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
