i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
