I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
