we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
