just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
