i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
