I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
